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Improve your people skills

Have you ever wondered what sets certain people apart from others? Have you wondered why one person will excel while another remains stagnant?

You've probably seen him: he walks into a room and heads turn. Chances are you’ve run into her too: she commands attention - people gravitate toward her.

Their success seems effortless. They aren’t smarter and don’t work harder than you, yet, they have ‘something.’ You’re just not sure what it is.

Have you ever wondered what sets certain people apart from others? Have you wondered why one person will excel while another remains stagnant? Did you know that your skill and knowledge account for only 15% of the reason you will land a job, keep a job or move ahead in a job?

Ultimately, your success, or lack of it, will be a result of the way you handle yourself with others. It’s your relationships, your reputation, and your ability to resolve problems and deal with a variety of personalities that affects you most. In short, it’s what you create when you enter a room - it’s your ‘people skills’ that will make or break your career.

You can work hard; you can do everything ‘right’, but it may not be enough. If people don’t genuinely like you, your chances of success are greatly reduced.

There are, and always will be, people who defy the odds; despicable characters who succeed in spite of themselves. However, most successful people understand the importance of their relationships with others and have what I refer to as the ‘likeability factor’.

Jeanne has worked with me for years. When I heard she was looking to make some changes in her life, I was concerned she might leave, and worried about replacing her. She is in demand for her services, and could easily replace me with other clients. When I approached her with my concerns, her response surprised me: “You don’t have to worry about me leaving,” she said, “I like working for you; I’m just quitting the people who are difficult to work for.”

I realised that Jeanne wasn’t only working for the money she earned. She liked working for me. She knew I appreciated her; and do you know what? I liked having her work for me too; I’ve worked at my relationship with her over the years. Building relationships is essential, and the easiest way to gain loyalty from someone.

How likeable are you? Not sure? Take a quick inventory:

  • do you like people?
  • do people like you?
  • do people confide in you?
  • are you interested in others?
  • do you compliment others easily?
  • do you frequently smile?
  • do others seem genuinely happy to see you?
  • are you cheerful?
  • are you positive?
  • are you happy with yourself?

If you answered yes to most of the questions, chances are you are a fairly likeable person, but don’t assume anything. Pay close attention to the messages, often unspoken, that you receive from others.

If people cut you off, seem rushed, complain, or avoid you, pay attention; they are telling you something. Notice the reactions you generate and find ways to connect with people in a sincere manner.

When you genuinely like people and are interested in what they have to say, people will enjoy being around you. When you ask questions, your natural curiosity will keep the conversation flowing. There is plenty of gloom and doom in the world. People want, and need, to be uplifted; you can be a day brightener and will be welcome most anywhere when you are. Given the choice, most people will choose to associate with upbeat, positive, and cheerful people.

When you value people and appreciate them, they will value you. When you're pleasant to work with and bring out the best in others, you have an advantage. Worry less about yourself and focus more on others. Give yourself the gift of liking people; develop your ‘likeability factor’. The rewards will be abundant.

Media personality, dynamic speaker and renowned career and image consultant, Sue Morem is president of Premier Presentation, Inc., a Minneapolis-based training and consulting firm. She has created and been featured in nine internationally distributed training videos, has authored two books, and writes a weekly syndicated workplace advice column. For more details visit her website at www.suemorem.com



Sue’s books are entitled ‘101 Tips for Graduates’, about achieving success in the job market and in life (ISBN 0-8160-5677-3); and ‘How to Gain the Professional Edge’, a complete guide to getting the most from your image, attitude and work skills (ISBN 0-8160-5675-7).