Communication skills
We all wear masks, but it is necessary to drop the mask to communicate fully. Get used to using your face every time you speak.
Many people believe a poker face is a strategic advantage. Sometimes it is, but often, you only gain complete credibility with an audience when they feel you're completely open and not masking anything from them.
To gauge your communication skills, you need constructive, critical feedback from someone else. Ask a spouse, friend, or co-worker to candidly appraise these skills based on the following criteria:
Are you self-centered or ‘other’ -oriented? Do you try to dominate conversations? Do you talk too much, over-explain, or lecture? Are you a complainer? Are you a sympathetic listener? Do you smile, laugh easily, and respond to others genuinely?
Do you have interesting things to say? Can you discuss varying subjects? Do you use colourful language? Do you avoid trite expressions?
Are you lively or dull? Do you speak in a monotone or with enthusiasm? Do you get to a point quickly and engagingly or do you labour over various points. Are you passive and non-responsive or active in the give and take of conversation?
Do you encourage monologues or dialogues? Do you draw people out on topics they are interested in discussing? Open-ended questions often begin with how or what; they elicit detail. Closed questions often begin with ‘Do you...?’.
Finally, think about yourself. What sort of impressions do you make on others in the first few seconds? How aware are you of all the verbal and non-verbal signals you send to others as you come face to face, or even when you speak to people over the telephone? How much control do you feel you have over these variables? It is important to focus on these questions because they help define not just your communication skills in the abstract, but also who you are and how others perceive you.
By Jane Boucher - best-selling author and professional speaker with offices in Ohio and Nevada, USA (jane@boucher.com. Her web sites are www.janeboucher.com and www.janeboucher.org
Jane’s latest book, ‘How to Love the Job You Hate’, is all about job satisfaction in the 21st century (ISBN 0-9679591-0-1). It is available at Beagle Bay Books, Nevada, USA.
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