IET logo
 
IET
Decrease font size
Increase font size
Topic Title: How you deal with your lady clients
Topic Summary: I never thought I'd post one like this
Created On: 06 October 2015 09:19 PM
Status: Read Only
Linear : Threading : Single : Branch
1 2 3 Next Last unread
Search Topic Search Topic
Topic Tools Topic Tools
View similar topics View similar topics
View topic in raw text format. Print this topic.
 06 October 2015 09:19 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



Zs

Posts: 3814
Joined: 20 July 2006

Hello Muckers, Might be a long one..

I am assuming most of you are men. I love you just the way you are, am not gay, consider you all to be friends and I am a woman.

Something pretty crap happened today.

Preamble, which you can skip if you want to:

Seeing as we in the trade don't get to hear these things until it is too late I am compelled to share this with you.

The borderline between banter, friendliness, and all that kind of thing is crossed. I want you to check in with yourselves. Please do not be this man.

I am a 53 year old lady in reasonably good shape. Cheerful disposition and so on, just normal really.

D'you remember a recent case in the news when a woman was complimented for her profile photo on LinikedIn and made a complaint against the man (whom she had contacted) for sexism? I was shouting at her on the radio when she was interviewed and I was calling her flimsy and out of touch. I don't do angry women making issue out of compliments from men. One day darling it is going to stop and you are going to be distraught.

But. Here is the nub of the line crossing. A tradesman in my own home crossed a line today and I just want to make sure that none of you are doing this kind of thing. As we get older, we have to learn that there is a way of paying someone else a compliment.

After the recent wildly expensive plumbing experience with one of our own forum members and a very long way still to go on the bathroom, but it functions.

I went out at 8 this morning to a meeting with a contractor. I arrived home at half one to find water pouring through the house. I'll not bore you with all that but a bit of crap plumbing and I'm sitting on a pile of towels to write this.

The Fender Custom shop 50th anniversary has taken a hit but the Gibson Les Paul is OK. I sobbed my little heart out for both of them for half an hour. It is pretty wet here.

Just another thing to have to deal with and the Fender is being delivered to my tech at 8 tomorrow so it will survive.I am insured for plumbing disasters with BG.

The reason for posting:

I called British Gas whilst the water was pouring in and after activating the stop cock to get things sorted. An engineer would be with me and it was down as what they call a dire emergency.

2 1/2 hours alone and I found the problems, drained down etc.

Steve, the BG man called. Lost. He was right near so I said I'd go fetch him on foot. I told him to look for a scruffy woman in jeans and a black T shirt.

'Just the way I like 'em' he said. I ignored it.

At his van I told him he needed a ball valve and a 20mm compression connector (the new ball valve had broken and the overflow pipe had been trodden on during the expensive plumbing works and broken open, hence the flood). He made a joke about his balls working perfectly which I chose again to ignore. I offered to carry a few bits for him 'You can carry my balls if you want'. I put the whole lot on the ground and told him to stop it right now. Straight in the eye.

And so it continued and you do not need to know the rest of it.

I survived this untouched but not without backing off with my hands up in front of me and shouting woah. Nothing too horrible but when a man comes at you with his hands at about breast height, you do not need to be a genius or an MIET to know where he is headed with those hands. I'm afraid I told him to FRO.

Do not mess with Zs. I am livid and I am violated yet again. Oh, I would effing shoot these blokes and I can look after myself but I worry so much about your beautiful daughters.

OMS called while he was here and I did a job on hiding it but I think he sensed. He called back from a service station no more that 40 minutes later just as I was about t lose it. Thank you pal.

So. Even if she is the most beautiful woman in the history of ever... please, I beg you. Don't even try it. Leave this kind of crass behaviour to the plumbers and let us Electricians be the true professionals. Please.

Will I report it? I dunno. I will decide tomorrow because I need some sleep so I might be T&E. Fat ugly men need their livelihood too. I'll get the place dried out and sleep (on the sofa) on it. The night it wakes me up and I can't get back to sleep is the night I'll know that I have to destroy a man's career.

If I report him he is sacked. No question. Only words and no physical contact and I really want you to know that.

But your daughter might have a flood and make the same call I did.

Please do not flirt with your clients. It is shoddy behaviour.

Zs
 06 October 2015 09:54 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



sparkingchip

Posts: 9953
Joined: 18 January 2003

One of the plasterers working for a kitchen company made the grab, then burst out in tears, ran outside to sit in the back of the van sobbing his heart out.

This left the lady in the house with the other plasterers all absolutely gob smacked, eventually the plasterer was coaxed out of the back of the van to apologise and plead with her not to let his wife find out.

To this day no one can believe he did it and he has never been able to explain why, it really was a spur of the moment thing and the lady though stunned forgave him.

On the other hand there are some right Richard Heads out there who just keep pushing and pushing not recognising boundaries when they are right in front of them, unfortunately it sounds like you had this type of guy who needs taking down.

Andy
 06 October 2015 10:03 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



Cremeegg

Posts: 675
Joined: 13 July 2007

Zs

Grab a glass of red - it'll help.

Whilst it's still fresh take notes of what was said and the responses, both verbal and physical. Either written or recorded.

This may make it more difficult to sleep on it tonight but try if you can.

Tomorrow - report him. Totally unacceptable behaviour. The odd flirtatious remark either side might get away with. You chose to ignore one but for the second you made you position crystal clear very early on. Sadly, he didn't/couldn't take the hint which quite rightly was probably less than subtle.

He crossed the line several times. He is the face of BG. BG have a responsibility to you. BG the company trades on its good old honest Gas Board reputation. Sadly this is also the company that trades on its honest reputation to branch out into matters electrical and scares plenty of pensioners into having a perfectly adequate split load boards changed for anything up to £2000.

He needs to be taught a lesson - if that costs him his livelihood then so be it. I'm sure he will have attended plenty of BG customer care type courses. Flirting and, but for the grace of your God, physically/sexually assaulting customers cannot be condoned.

If you can stand it I'd also make a fuss to your insurer for employing, albeit indirectly, such an obnoxious individual.

Good luck and sleep well
 06 October 2015 10:08 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



normcall

Posts: 8514
Joined: 15 January 2005

I believe that BG is owned by Crapita and few are directly employed.
Like most large organisations, they really have no idea what their sub-contractors are really like - particularly in an emergency. Perhaps they should be told.

-------------------------
Norman
 06 October 2015 10:54 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



potential

Posts: 1630
Joined: 01 February 2007

Zs, with no hesitation I ask you to call the police now.
 06 October 2015 11:18 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



mapj1

Posts: 9348
Joined: 22 July 2004

As it sounds like the moment for throwing something at some one has clearly passed, I second the thing about making some notes. Not quite a witness statement, maybe, but something that could be turned into one if later required. Remember to record your actions and words as well as his.

Partly I suggest this because once you have recorded it, you can start to forget it, happy that if ever need be it can later be recalled, then its easier to sleep. Also the mind protects itself from trauma by not remembering details correctly after a while, which is why so many car crashes occur between two stationary cars. Either way, then you can sleep.

It is quite easy to upset someone once by mistake with a remark that to them appears to be too far off colour.

However, having been warned and not stopping shows a serious disregard, and as you describe it he has gone well over the line of just being a bit lively.. You were not in a night club being flirtatious and you were not joining in, and he should have picked that up pretty smartish. He is supposed to be a professional, and you are his customer, the job comes with some responsibility.

- you may not be sure if you want to dob him in, but if it is as clear as you say I'd be sorely tempted to suggest you do, or at least think hard about it - I also wonder if he already has form or if this is a one time thing. In either case its not right if he goes away thinking this is acceptable.

-------------------------
regards Mike
 06 October 2015 11:21 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



slittle

Posts: 3678
Joined: 22 November 2007

Zs,

No question, report it.

There are several lines crossed and none of them should be.

I'd dismiss any of my team if I heard they had been anything like that

Stu
 07 October 2015 02:27 AM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



alancapon

Posts: 6879
Joined: 27 December 2005

I agree with the others. This must be reported to the police / his employer. If he is prepared to carry out this sort of behaviour on behalf of his employer, then he must also expect to accept the consequences. If his employer chooses to sack him, then so be it. This behaviour is no longer acceptable, although I believe it never was.

Regards,

Alan.
 07 October 2015 07:12 AM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



lomasjs

Posts: 35
Joined: 17 January 2002

I believe that BG is owned by Crapita


BG is not owned by Capita. Capita run the Gas Safe scheme that CORGI used to run.

-------------------------
lomasjs
 07 October 2015 07:40 AM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



mawry

Posts: 323
Joined: 26 April 2004

Zs you should report this. Next person may not be as hardy as you.(if you'll forgive my presumption that you are)

BG is owned by Centrica, and they will come down on said person like a ton of ****.
 07 October 2015 07:43 AM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



Zs

Posts: 3814
Joined: 20 July 2006

thank you.

Careful out there. Because you've backed this up as not just something silly, I'll put in a call today. I was rather hoping to wake up thinking it was nothing but it's still there so you are quite right, they do need to know.

I realise that I signed something on his etchasketch computer. It was a whole page signature box and I'd like to see what I signed in case it was a five star review or something.

I'm not forgetting that the first comment was before I appeared in front of him so this would have been any lady.

Yes, a subby. Dyno Rod.

It's a skill to be able to pay a compliment. Worth checking yours is up to scratch or maybe just treat all your customers as neutrals?

another thing for the things to do list eh?

Zs
 07 October 2015 08:32 AM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



AJJewsbury

Posts: 15812
Joined: 13 August 2003

That's awful Zs - I'm sure I can't even start to imagine how upsetting it must have been.

I'll know that I have to destroy a man's career.

I'd argue that point though. There's a division of responsibility here. You hold information that could stop this happening again - I'd suggest you have a duty to the rest of us not to keep it secret. But how his employer uses that information is their responsibility, not yours. They should know far more about him and so should be in a far better position to do the necessary judging. He might be on some new medication which made him act totally out of character and it's a complete one off, or it might be just the latest in a long line of such problems they've heard rumours about or suspected but not had the hard evidence to do anything about. That's their job to figure out. You do your 'bit', let them do theirs.
- Andy.
 07 October 2015 09:00 AM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



peteTLM

Posts: 3715
Joined: 31 March 2005

BG own dyno rod, have done for ages, they are the one and the same.

Report him.

-------------------------
----------------------------------------
Lack of planning on your part doesn't make it an emergency on mine....

Every man has to know his limitations- Dirty Harry
 07 October 2015 09:22 AM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



rogerbryant

Posts: 979
Joined: 19 July 2002

I think your response is actually quite mild. My wife and daughters would probably have castrated him there and then. His behavior was completely unacceptable.

Best regards

Roger
 07 October 2015 09:42 AM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



ebee

Posts: 6338
Joined: 02 December 2004

Send him to the tower Zs, off with his head.
Completely unacceptable

-------------------------
Regards,
Ebee (M I S P N)

Knotted cables cause Lumpy Lektrik
 07 October 2015 12:15 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



Zs

Posts: 3814
Joined: 20 July 2006

I've done it. A phone interview with a lady who seems to know how to handle this kind of thing.

Not a nice thing to do, feel like poo now, to anyone but I agree with you. Thanks.

Keep your standards.


Zs
 07 October 2015 12:19 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



AJJewsbury

Posts: 15812
Joined: 13 August 2003

Well done Zs.

- Andy.
 07 October 2015 12:37 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



potential

Posts: 1630
Joined: 01 February 2007

Originally posted by: Zs

I've done it. A phone interview with a lady who seems to know how to handle this kind of thing.
Not a nice thing to do, feel like poo now, to anyone but I agree with you. Thanks.
Keep your standards.
Zs


Well done.
It doesn't surprise me at all that you don't feel too good.
After being assaulted in your own home nearly everyone would feel the same.
Remember it was his bad behaviour to you that caused this and he needs to be held to account for it.
Remember too that your actions may save other people from the same experience as yourself.
Don't blame yourself for being nice to this man or that you reported him for his nasty behaviour.
Give yourself time to sort your feelings out.
If it helps you, try to imagine if this happened to a friend of yours and how angry you would feel on their behalf.

Lastly, don't think all men are the same.
The type of man you encountered needs to be dealt with properly to prevent him doing this sort of thing again.
 07 October 2015 01:25 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



mapj1

Posts: 9348
Joined: 22 July 2004

Ahh Zs, this is one of those things that should not have been necessary, but it was, and reporting him next day sounds like it was the most sensible thing you could have done in the circumstances.

It's a catechism, but because it is largely right, that treated correctly, in the longer term experiences that do not kill you can make you stronger or wiser, so try if you can to look at it as one of those rather than spiralling in and wondering if you did the right or wrong thing at some point.

I suspect that even under alias to discuss it here took you more than a few deep breaths. You knowing that it shows you have that strength of character is quite important.

Now if you find you are struggling to work it out of your system, either write it down or tape record it, and then it can be filed away and put firmly behind you done as something all over now, done and dusted, nasty unpleasant memory marked up for deletion.

Meanwhile I suggest you immerse yourself fully into something completely different, as a suitable displacement activity. I would normally perhaps say have a relaxing bath at this point, but maybe not if the plumbing for it is not finished.

-------------------------
regards Mike
 07 October 2015 01:28 PM
User is offline View Users Profile Print this message



mikejumper

Posts: 2406
Joined: 14 December 2006

Originally posted by: Zs
I've done it. A phone interview with a lady who seems to know how to handle this kind of thing.
Zs

Good
IET » Wiring and the regulations » How you deal with your lady clients

1 2 3 Next Last unread
Topic Tools Topic Tools
Statistics

New here?


See Also:



FuseTalk Standard Edition v3.2 - © 1999-2017 FuseTalk Inc. All rights reserved.

..